Rabbi Michael Gotlieb wrote an op-ed piece in the WSJ entitled “Why This Rabbi Loves Christmas” (http://www.wsj.com/articles/why-this-rabbi-loves-christmas-1482450895). In the essay he writes: “[I]f the messiah were to appear, or reappear, what would he say that hasn’t already been said? I assure you that there would be nothing new, no surprises.”
Really? How sad. I think the messiah would say much that is new. Here are some examples:
- God doesn’t dabble in real estate.
- Darwin was right. Dawkins, however, is missing the point.
- All holy books speak through metaphor. Literalism is dumb.
- “Those who live by the sword die by the sword” (Matthew 26:52) applies to guns and nukes as well.
- Stop demonizing people over sexual preference, gender identity, ethnicity or religion. In fact, stop demonizing people—period.
- I had women apostles. Ordain women.
- Fetuses are not persons. Neither are the brain dead.
- I said “suffer the little children,” (Matthew 19:14) not “cause little children to suffer.”
- Thou shalt not murder includes the death penalty, honor killings, and terrorism.
- Hell is a sadistic fantasy. If your obsession with it lasts longer than four hours, get help.
- Stop eating pork. No, check that. Stop eating flesh. See Genesis 1:30.
- God isn’t white, male, or tribal; God has no religion; God doesn’t choose, save or damn; God isn’t freaked out by foreskins or clitorises; and God has no fashion preferences, except maybe a fondness for the Borsalino fedora of the Lubavitchers.
- God doesn’t change; neither does a Twinkie. God died and came back. So did the Twinkie. This might be important. Or it might not. You decide.
- Humans cause climate change. Stop.
- If your clergy say God told them to buy a private jet, they’re lying. If you give them money for the plane, you’re an idiot.
- God doesn’t dole out virgins as prizes. If you want a prize buy a box of Cracker Jack.
- Any God you can imagine isn’t God.
- I have an older sister. Her name is Sophia (Proverbs 8:22). Check her out.